Playlist link 3/1/19
6 years ago
Sunday, March 28, 2010
I Did It!
Wow! What a total thrill. I read 9 of my poems and 2 of my songs on KOPN 98.5 FM here in Columbia, Missouri. I never have done a poetry reading before ever in my life. My parents in Michigan were able to hear me over the internet and they called me to tell how proud they were of me. As I walked down the steps from the radio station I kept saying to myself "I did it. I really did it." I was so happy I laughed and cried. What a wonderful day.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
You Remain Unforgiven (song)
Funny how you think an email after all these years
Would makeup for all the ways you made me hurt.
Sorry doesn't cut it for me or stop the tears,
And I still wish you were six feet under dirt.
But what you did to me was nothing.
But what you did to me was nothing.
Like what you did to the children.
Oh my God what you did to the children.
I hate you today just as much
As I hated you back then.
I will never forgive you
Or absolve you of your sins.
I don't feel bad that
You don't like your life.
I don't care at all that
You don't love your wife.
You earned all the pain
So I could really care less.
That you feel like your
Life is such a f***ing mess.
Funny how you think that you could undo the wrong,
And come back into my life as nothing happen,
By sending words to a Cheryl Crow, Kidd Rock song.
But us together again ain't going to happen.
But what you did to me was nothing.
But what you did to me was nothing.
Like what you did to the children.
Oh my God what you did to the children.
I hate you today just as much
As I hated you back then.
I will never forgive you
Or absolve you of your sins.
I don't feel bad that
You don't like your life.
I don't care at all that
You don't love your wife.
You earned all the pain
So I could really care less.
That you feel like your
Life is such a f***ing mess.
I hate you today just as much
But what you did to me was nothing.
As I hated you back then.
But what you did to me was nothing.
I will never forgive you
But what you did to me was nothing.
Or absolve you of your sins.
But what you did to me was nothing.
I don't feel bad that
But what you did to me was nothing.
You don't like your life.
But what you did to me was nothing.
I don't care at all that
But what you did to me was nothing.
You don't love your wife.
But what you did to me was nothing.
You earned all the pain
Like what you did to the children.
So I could really care less.
Like what you did to the children.
That you feel like your
Like what you did to the children.
Life is such a f***ing mess.
Oh my God what you did to the children.
Would makeup for all the ways you made me hurt.
Sorry doesn't cut it for me or stop the tears,
And I still wish you were six feet under dirt.
But what you did to me was nothing.
But what you did to me was nothing.
Like what you did to the children.
Oh my God what you did to the children.
I hate you today just as much
As I hated you back then.
I will never forgive you
Or absolve you of your sins.
I don't feel bad that
You don't like your life.
I don't care at all that
You don't love your wife.
You earned all the pain
So I could really care less.
That you feel like your
Life is such a f***ing mess.
Funny how you think that you could undo the wrong,
And come back into my life as nothing happen,
By sending words to a Cheryl Crow, Kidd Rock song.
But us together again ain't going to happen.
But what you did to me was nothing.
But what you did to me was nothing.
Like what you did to the children.
Oh my God what you did to the children.
I hate you today just as much
As I hated you back then.
I will never forgive you
Or absolve you of your sins.
I don't feel bad that
You don't like your life.
I don't care at all that
You don't love your wife.
You earned all the pain
So I could really care less.
That you feel like your
Life is such a f***ing mess.
I hate you today just as much
But what you did to me was nothing.
As I hated you back then.
But what you did to me was nothing.
I will never forgive you
But what you did to me was nothing.
Or absolve you of your sins.
But what you did to me was nothing.
I don't feel bad that
But what you did to me was nothing.
You don't like your life.
But what you did to me was nothing.
I don't care at all that
But what you did to me was nothing.
You don't love your wife.
But what you did to me was nothing.
You earned all the pain
Like what you did to the children.
So I could really care less.
Like what you did to the children.
That you feel like your
Like what you did to the children.
Life is such a f***ing mess.
Oh my God what you did to the children.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Sliding Back Into Insanity (Song)
It's the middle of the night
But I am awake like it's high noon.
I can't hear a sound because
Silent sirens are filling up the room.
All the drugs I take to turn me off
At night fail to flip down the switch.
A shadow figure passes by me,
I give the finger to the son of a b***h.
I held it together as long as I could.
But now I am sliding back into insanity
I'm on a dark horse at full gallop.
And now I am riding back into insanity.
My thoughts go around and around.
They just will not, can not do not go away.
My reality is tilted and spinning.
I try to grab on: it starts to decay.
My hearts pounds hard against my chest.
I scream out loud to get back my breath.
It is as hot as hell in my heart.
But I feel as if I'm cold as death.
I held it together as long as I could.
But now I am sliding back into insanity.
I'm on a dark horse at full gallop.
And now I am riding back into insanity.
But I am awake like it's high noon.
I can't hear a sound because
Silent sirens are filling up the room.
All the drugs I take to turn me off
At night fail to flip down the switch.
A shadow figure passes by me,
I give the finger to the son of a b***h.
I held it together as long as I could.
But now I am sliding back into insanity
I'm on a dark horse at full gallop.
And now I am riding back into insanity.
My thoughts go around and around.
They just will not, can not do not go away.
My reality is tilted and spinning.
I try to grab on: it starts to decay.
My hearts pounds hard against my chest.
I scream out loud to get back my breath.
It is as hot as hell in my heart.
But I feel as if I'm cold as death.
I held it together as long as I could.
But now I am sliding back into insanity.
I'm on a dark horse at full gallop.
And now I am riding back into insanity.
Promises Broken (Song)
Sometimes the magician gets caught up into the illusion.
Conjuring the truth and the lies into blinding fusion.
When reality gets to be more than you can ever stand.
Your mind deceives you with a mental slight of hand.
Chorus:
I really meant to keep promises in my heart.
But I turned self-deception into a form of art.
I wish I could take back words that were spoken.
And cast a spell to fix the promises broken.
Sometimes the writer believes the written words on the page.
Only reading between the lines can you see the hidden rage.
Just wanting to live out the happily ever after fantasy;
You can't get the words to rhyme together in this reality.
Chorus:
I really meant to keep promises in my heart.
But I turned self-deception into a form of art.
I wish I could take back words that were spoken.
And rewrite the story of promises broken.
Sometimes the musician lives the song and the music.
No matter how much you play you just can't get the lick.
Out of tune and rhythm off; a ballad that's gone bad.
The truth of the blues is you lost what you once had.
Chorus:
I really meant to keep promises in my heart.
But I turned self-deception into a form of art.
I wish I could take back words that were spoken.
And sing a song of promises not broken.
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
Conjuring the truth and the lies into blinding fusion.
When reality gets to be more than you can ever stand.
Your mind deceives you with a mental slight of hand.
Chorus:
I really meant to keep promises in my heart.
But I turned self-deception into a form of art.
I wish I could take back words that were spoken.
And cast a spell to fix the promises broken.
Sometimes the writer believes the written words on the page.
Only reading between the lines can you see the hidden rage.
Just wanting to live out the happily ever after fantasy;
You can't get the words to rhyme together in this reality.
Chorus:
I really meant to keep promises in my heart.
But I turned self-deception into a form of art.
I wish I could take back words that were spoken.
And rewrite the story of promises broken.
Sometimes the musician lives the song and the music.
No matter how much you play you just can't get the lick.
Out of tune and rhythm off; a ballad that's gone bad.
The truth of the blues is you lost what you once had.
Chorus:
I really meant to keep promises in my heart.
But I turned self-deception into a form of art.
I wish I could take back words that were spoken.
And sing a song of promises not broken.
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
Where Are The Snows Of Yesterday
It was building igloos in the backyard,
Filling up the car with sleds to go to the park,
Ducking snowballs flying through the air,
Drinking hot chocolate to warm up and then
Going back outside to get covered in snow again.
It was celebrating birthdays in December,
Opening presents on Christmas,
Kissing the first time in falling snow,
Hiking in the woods with snow boats and
Skiing cross county on the campus grounds.
It was moving away from home,
Learning to drive on icy roads,
Marrying the wrong guy in the wrong month,
Bundling babies up to keep them warm and
Going out in the cold at night for diapers.
It was sitting in night court to keep warm,
Sleeping in different homeless shelters,
Lighting up a Coleman heater in a van,
Reading in a library with no where to go and
Praying for warmer weather and something to eat.
It was sitting in a house without any heat,
Begging for money to pay the utility bill,
Trying bury your pet in frozen ground,
Saying good bye to your family forever, and
Being all alone on the holidays.
It was dreaming of igloos in the backyard,
Filling up the car with sleds to go to the park,
Ducking snowballs flying through the air,
Drinking hot chocolate to warm up and then
Going back outside to get covered in snow again.
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
Filling up the car with sleds to go to the park,
Ducking snowballs flying through the air,
Drinking hot chocolate to warm up and then
Going back outside to get covered in snow again.
It was celebrating birthdays in December,
Opening presents on Christmas,
Kissing the first time in falling snow,
Hiking in the woods with snow boats and
Skiing cross county on the campus grounds.
It was moving away from home,
Learning to drive on icy roads,
Marrying the wrong guy in the wrong month,
Bundling babies up to keep them warm and
Going out in the cold at night for diapers.
It was sitting in night court to keep warm,
Sleeping in different homeless shelters,
Lighting up a Coleman heater in a van,
Reading in a library with no where to go and
Praying for warmer weather and something to eat.
It was sitting in a house without any heat,
Begging for money to pay the utility bill,
Trying bury your pet in frozen ground,
Saying good bye to your family forever, and
Being all alone on the holidays.
It was dreaming of igloos in the backyard,
Filling up the car with sleds to go to the park,
Ducking snowballs flying through the air,
Drinking hot chocolate to warm up and then
Going back outside to get covered in snow again.
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
Time Travel
It's 2:18 in the afternoon
Says the clock on the living room wall.
As I sit on my deck daydreaming
About nothing and sipping sweet tea.
I watch two boys riding bikes on the road.
Their laughter floats up to me;
The music of summer and youth.
A little later couple walks by
Holding hands like new lovers.
A bee hovers over the sweet tea
As the sun moves lower in the sky.
It's 2:18 in the afternoon
Says the clock on the living room wall.
A bus stops letting off the children
Who have been attending summer school.
Slowly driveways empty all day fill up
With cars and their drivers hurry inside
Out of the heat and start to prepare dinner.
The phone rings and summons me inside.
It is my supervisor informing me that I am late.
I hurry to change into my uniform.
I was suppose to be there at 5:00 pm.
It's 2:18 in the afternoon
Says the clock on the living room wall.
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
Says the clock on the living room wall.
As I sit on my deck daydreaming
About nothing and sipping sweet tea.
I watch two boys riding bikes on the road.
Their laughter floats up to me;
The music of summer and youth.
A little later couple walks by
Holding hands like new lovers.
A bee hovers over the sweet tea
As the sun moves lower in the sky.
It's 2:18 in the afternoon
Says the clock on the living room wall.
A bus stops letting off the children
Who have been attending summer school.
Slowly driveways empty all day fill up
With cars and their drivers hurry inside
Out of the heat and start to prepare dinner.
The phone rings and summons me inside.
It is my supervisor informing me that I am late.
I hurry to change into my uniform.
I was suppose to be there at 5:00 pm.
It's 2:18 in the afternoon
Says the clock on the living room wall.
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
Step 6
Without my defects who would I be?
For I am them and they are me.
Without them what would fill the void.
Wouldn't myself be destroyed?
My emotional brain says hat God Would take care,
Bu my logical brain warns me to beware.
Self preservation is the strongest urge.
My defects I am not sure I could purge.
Without my defects what is it I would see?
Would I know who it was looking back at me?
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
For I am them and they are me.
Without them what would fill the void.
Wouldn't myself be destroyed?
My emotional brain says hat God Would take care,
Bu my logical brain warns me to beware.
Self preservation is the strongest urge.
My defects I am not sure I could purge.
Without my defects what is it I would see?
Would I know who it was looking back at me?
Read on the radio at KOPN 98.5 FM on March 28th, 2010.
Soul Connection
The love between us
People can't understand.
Why we even bother
A lesbian and gay man.
All the confusion
That we put people in.
They try to figure out
If we are living in sin.
More than physical
Our very unique relation.
Minds, hearts united
Form our soul connection.
People can't understand.
Why we even bother
A lesbian and gay man.
All the confusion
That we put people in.
They try to figure out
If we are living in sin.
More than physical
Our very unique relation.
Minds, hearts united
Form our soul connection.
Miss Adventure
I moved from the city to the country.
Much to the dismay of my lover
and her inner Zsa Zsa Gabor.
In my mind I was the
Duchess of Boone County.
Straighting the curves,
Flatting the hills
And would have slept
With Catherine Bach,
As if I had half a chance.
I drove home from doing laundry
and decided to do a little road trip.
I took Creasy Springs to Mauller Road.
Instead of turning down Moberly Drive
And taking my tired ass home
I went down to the stop sign,
Across V V, to see how far Mauller
Went in the other direction.
It went far enough for me to
Dodge the rabbit, hit the cat,
Hear the thud of roadkill,
And realize the road turned
Into someones driveway.
It was an orange tabby
That was chasing the rabbit.
I looked in the rear view mirror
And saw something crossing the road.
It must have been the cat
Because I didn't see no body
After I turned around to go back.
(If I had bothered to read my map
I would have known the road only
Went about two city blocks.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
I decided to go back on V V
And drive down to Akeman Bridge Road.
I wanted to see Akeman Bridge;
I had visions of a romantic covered bridge
Worthy of being immortalized in a poem.
Akeman Bridge Road starts off paved
And then turns into a dirt road.
The dirt part is where I ran into more problems.
The right side of the road had a two foot deep ditch.
The left side had an oncoming cattle truck.
I hit a pot hole,over steered and skidded
In front of said oncoming truck.
I managed to steer back right
Not get hit by the cattle truck
And I didn't go into ditch.
(That cattle truck went by so fast
I never did see any cows in there
But the adrenaline rush might
Have fogged my vision.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
I went on down Akeman Road,
Past the 90 degree turn,
Past the sign that said
Dangerous Hillside Road Ahead,
All the way until I was
Going up a very steep hill,
Crossing a slab of concrete,
That was over Perche Creek.
It might have been Akeman Bride.
It was about then my fear of heights kicked in
And I lost my balls.
( I never let the fact that I wasn't
actually born with a set of testicles
Ever slow me down, but my
Imaginary brass ones disappeared so fast
I felt the Whoosh of air between my legs.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back over
The concrete slab on the side of the hill.
I drove on until I came to E and pulled over
It was at this point that I got out the map
and realized that Mauller Road only went
Two city blocks once you cross V V.
I decided to Dike up and turn around
And go back the way I came with
One little modification.
I decided to take Akeman to Oneal Road,
Then turn left onto Fenton Road.
I'm from Fenton, Michigan and I was
Hoping some home town voodoo magic would help.
Because this trip sure as hell felt cursed.
So I went back over the concrete slab,
(I refuse to call it a bridge.)
Up and down dangerous hillside,
Past 90 degree angle,
And took a right onto Oneal Road.
I was doing good and happy with myself
That I missed hitting two rabbits.
Then I hit total darkness.
The tree branches interlaced with each other
And blocked out most of the sunlight.
(I concentrated really hard at my driving
Because {And I don't think I'm over imaging anything}
I was ready for the trees to start throwing apples,
The wicked witch to fly over head,
Dorthy and the scarecrow to come walking down the road
And with my luck I would have ran over Toto.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
Mostly because there was no where to turn around.
I stayed on Oneal until I came to Fenton Road.
I turned left on Fenton Road.
Drove past Sycamore Hills.
Not that I give a damn where Sycamore Hills are located,
But just in case anyone asks I can give directions.
Fenton Road comes out at Creasy Springs.
I went left on Creasy Springs,
Right on Mauller Road,
Then left onto Moberly Drive
and down all the way to my parking spot.
It was at this point I decided to quit.
Until next time.
Anna Ruth Roe (c) 2009
Much to the dismay of my lover
and her inner Zsa Zsa Gabor.
In my mind I was the
Duchess of Boone County.
Straighting the curves,
Flatting the hills
And would have slept
With Catherine Bach,
As if I had half a chance.
I drove home from doing laundry
and decided to do a little road trip.
I took Creasy Springs to Mauller Road.
Instead of turning down Moberly Drive
And taking my tired ass home
I went down to the stop sign,
Across V V, to see how far Mauller
Went in the other direction.
It went far enough for me to
Dodge the rabbit, hit the cat,
Hear the thud of roadkill,
And realize the road turned
Into someones driveway.
It was an orange tabby
That was chasing the rabbit.
I looked in the rear view mirror
And saw something crossing the road.
It must have been the cat
Because I didn't see no body
After I turned around to go back.
(If I had bothered to read my map
I would have known the road only
Went about two city blocks.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
I decided to go back on V V
And drive down to Akeman Bridge Road.
I wanted to see Akeman Bridge;
I had visions of a romantic covered bridge
Worthy of being immortalized in a poem.
Akeman Bridge Road starts off paved
And then turns into a dirt road.
The dirt part is where I ran into more problems.
The right side of the road had a two foot deep ditch.
The left side had an oncoming cattle truck.
I hit a pot hole,over steered and skidded
In front of said oncoming truck.
I managed to steer back right
Not get hit by the cattle truck
And I didn't go into ditch.
(That cattle truck went by so fast
I never did see any cows in there
But the adrenaline rush might
Have fogged my vision.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
I went on down Akeman Road,
Past the 90 degree turn,
Past the sign that said
Dangerous Hillside Road Ahead,
All the way until I was
Going up a very steep hill,
Crossing a slab of concrete,
That was over Perche Creek.
It might have been Akeman Bride.
It was about then my fear of heights kicked in
And I lost my balls.
( I never let the fact that I wasn't
actually born with a set of testicles
Ever slow me down, but my
Imaginary brass ones disappeared so fast
I felt the Whoosh of air between my legs.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back over
The concrete slab on the side of the hill.
I drove on until I came to E and pulled over
It was at this point that I got out the map
and realized that Mauller Road only went
Two city blocks once you cross V V.
I decided to Dike up and turn around
And go back the way I came with
One little modification.
I decided to take Akeman to Oneal Road,
Then turn left onto Fenton Road.
I'm from Fenton, Michigan and I was
Hoping some home town voodoo magic would help.
Because this trip sure as hell felt cursed.
So I went back over the concrete slab,
(I refuse to call it a bridge.)
Up and down dangerous hillside,
Past 90 degree angle,
And took a right onto Oneal Road.
I was doing good and happy with myself
That I missed hitting two rabbits.
Then I hit total darkness.
The tree branches interlaced with each other
And blocked out most of the sunlight.
(I concentrated really hard at my driving
Because {And I don't think I'm over imaging anything}
I was ready for the trees to start throwing apples,
The wicked witch to fly over head,
Dorthy and the scarecrow to come walking down the road
And with my luck I would have ran over Toto.)
At this point most people would have quit.
Not me.
Mostly because there was no where to turn around.
I stayed on Oneal until I came to Fenton Road.
I turned left on Fenton Road.
Drove past Sycamore Hills.
Not that I give a damn where Sycamore Hills are located,
But just in case anyone asks I can give directions.
Fenton Road comes out at Creasy Springs.
I went left on Creasy Springs,
Right on Mauller Road,
Then left onto Moberly Drive
and down all the way to my parking spot.
It was at this point I decided to quit.
Until next time.
Anna Ruth Roe (c) 2009
Speed Of Life
I am running late to work and the car is almost out of gas.
The bills are past due, there is not enough money to make it last.
My clothes need washing, the dishes aren't done and my hair is tangled mess.
I'm always running around, trying to catch up I never seem to get any rest.
I try to slow down,to enjoy the day, but the world goes by so fast.
I try to catch my breath and to hold on to the moment to make it last.
But I have God, faith, and prayers to hold me through times of strife.
And an angel watching when I try to go faster than the speed of life.
The bills are past due, there is not enough money to make it last.
My clothes need washing, the dishes aren't done and my hair is tangled mess.
I'm always running around, trying to catch up I never seem to get any rest.
I try to slow down,to enjoy the day, but the world goes by so fast.
I try to catch my breath and to hold on to the moment to make it last.
But I have God, faith, and prayers to hold me through times of strife.
And an angel watching when I try to go faster than the speed of life.
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